Coletti Warlords: Just Desserts Read online

  The Overlord’s amused voice repeated, “Old guy?”

  “No insult intended, sir.” Bree added hurriedly, “I’m sure you can still kick butt with the best of them.”

  Jaylan extolled, “The Overlord has never been defeated in battle.”

  “Oh, how proud you must be,” Bree responded politely.

  Talree reappeared with a bloody battle-ax clasped in his left hand. He bared his fangs at Bree.

  With a yelp of alarm, Bree glued herself to Jaylan’s side.

  Talree did have menacing down to an art form.

  Immense power rippled around the room. The next instant, Voss teleported in. The Battle Commander gave Zarek a run for his money in the scary department. He handed Bree a piece of chocolate. “Eat it, before I have to lop off your head.”

  Bree took one look at his huge, bloodstained battle-ax and quickly popped the candy in her mouth.

  Jaylan urged her toward the platform.

  “Wait! Something’s wrong!” Bree cried.

  The sensation of sudden overwhelming danger screamed through me like an electric shock. I jumped to my feet. “We’re under attack.”

  The ship shuddered violently, knocking me against the table.

  A mechanical voice declared, “Warning! Hull breach in cargo bay two.”

  “Guard our females,” Zarek commanded Talree. And then poof. He was gone.

  Her eyes hot with rage, Detja dropped Rami on the table and popped out.

  “Madal!” Tiko yowled, bounding out the door to find her son.

  A scant second later, a ghostly curtain of roiling yellow energy erupted around my table.

  “Scared!” Haki cried and buried himself in my hair.

  I studied the energy field in horror. I had never seen anything like it. It almost felt alive.

  Bellowing in fury, Talree teleported. Crack! He instantly reappeared encased in a ball of pulsating energy. Zap! It flung him across the room.

  Sariel grabbed Talree before he could slam into the wall.

  Voss hurled his battle-ax at the energy barrier. It bounced off harmlessly.

  Shit! We were trapped. A boiling gray vortex suddenly engulfed me. What in the hell?

  “It’s the Queen Mother,” Rami cried.

  “Daddy help us,” Thor called urgently.

  “That evil bitch is not getting you or the kid.” Hank wrapped his arms around my chest and tried valiantly to pull me free of the churning funnel of energy. With a thunderous cracking boom, the room disappeared.

  Chapter Two

  Dim voices called to me. Pleaded with me to answer. Who? I struggled to open my eyes. My thoughts spun chaotically. Something bad had happened, but what? Where was Talree? He had been… Where? The ceremony! Hot. Why was it so freakin’ hot?

  A baby Tabor chittered in alarm, and a sticky little tongue poked my eyelid. “We scared. You not die.”

  “Momma! Momma!” a voice wailed in my head.

  “Thor!” Everything came crashing back, and I bolted upright with Haki clinging to my face. A shackle bit into my wrist, yanking me back down on a narrow metal bunk. Shit, we were in a cell, but where? The Queen Mother’s damn vortex could have taken us anywhere in the galaxy. I reached out mentally for Talree, but there was only a horrible, empty black void.

  My heart skipped a beat. “Talree?”

  “They shot us up with Drakash,” Hank said from the opposite bunk. He had picked the lock on his cuff.

  Relief flooded me. Right. The bad guys didn’t want me using my Siren abilities. One dose turned me into a normal human. Dammit. “Wait a minute. They?”

  “The Tai-Kok are in cahoots with the Queen Bitch.”

  “Big surprise. The bastards are still mad I captured one of their ships.”

  Hank laughed grimly. “They do hold a grudge, but they made a fatal mistake in taking you.”

  “Yep. Hell will soon be raining down on their asses.”

  Little furry legs tickled my nose.

  “I know you’re scared, Haki, but it’s kinda hard to breathe with you on my face.”

  Haki reluctantly climbed into my hair.

  Thor kicked wildly. “Daddy gone!”

  I stroked my belly soothingly. “We’ve been drugged, honey. Until it wears off, we can’t talk with your father.”

  “Want my daddy.”

  “So do I, honey.”

  A three-dimensional image of the bridge of a Tai-Kok ship appeared in midair. A Tai-Kok warrior with a metal Mohawk and red, spike-covered battle suit stepped into view. He quacked a string of gibberish. A long minute later, a harsh mechanical voice said, “Warlord, your mate and unborn child are our prisoners. You have three of your days to surrender the planet Tartum. If you refuse, we will feast on them, and you can watch every agonizing second of their deaths.”

  “You fucking moron, the only ones dying are you!” I shouted, beyond pissed.

  The Tai-Kok honked furiously, and the mechanical voice responded, “I will keep you alive long enough to watch your baby being eaten piece by piece.”

  The long-range communications link distorted Talree’s voice. “Harm my mate or child, and I will destroy your worlds.”

  When Talree got that malevolent tone in his voice, most sane folks would plead for mercy, but the Tai-Kok weren’t exactly the brightest bulbs in the universe.

  Mohawk spat a series of weird honking quacks.

  The translator said, “You are in no position to make threats, Warlord. Surrender Tartum, or they die.”

  Point made. I called to Talree, “It’s okay, sweetie. We’ll find a way to escape.”

  Clank. The metal wall slowly rolled back to reveal a hellish landscape. My eyes widened in shock. Black rocks were cut by jagged cracks of boiling vermilion lava. Thick white plumes of deadly gas turned the sky an angry red. I flinched as flying blobs of molten rock splattered against the energy field. That explained the heat.

  “There is no escape, human.”

  “I will come for you, Kaylee,” Talree promised.

  “I know.”

  The Tai-Kok quacked again.

  The mechanical translator stated, “You have your proof of life. Meet our demands, or they die.”

  The image vanished.

  Every inch a little warrior, Thor stated, “Daddy kill them.”

  “Yes, he will.” I eyed the thick, oozing magma. “No way a ship can land in that.”

  Hank stood. “The Queen Bitch ’ported us onto the Tai-Kok ship, and they used a transporter to bring us down here.”

  “Great.” For the first time, I noticed the bruises decorating Hank’s face. “Looks like you gave them a fight.”

  “They stunned you,” he snarled.

  A tendril of horror crawled in my gut. “Those bastards could have killed my baby.”

  Hank’s voice was low, bitter, and crackling with rage. “I tried to stop them from drugging you, but—”

  I cut him off. “It’s not your fault. The Tai-Kok know what I’m capable of, and they wouldn’t take any chances.”

  “Those fucking monsters plan on eating us, one way or another,” Hank said, picking the lock on my shackle.

  The cuff popped off. Rubbing my aching wrist, I smiled my thanks. “Yep, we’re definitely on the dinner menu. We need to find a way out of this hellhole.”

  “I managed to get a brief look at their long-range scanners, and we’re somewhere in the Aleutian star system.”

  “You rock.” I plucked Haki from my hair. “I need you to contact your mother.”

  “Me try.”

  “Tell Tae I’m pretty sure we’re on the planet Drago in the Aleutian system.”

  “’Kay.”

  The walls shook violently, and the floor buckled under our feet. I turned, and a jolt of raw fear froze me. Electric-orange geysers of magma shot into the air. Pinnacles of black rocks shifted, wobbling like loose teeth.

  “Shit! The volcano is erupting.”

  “That shield isn’t going to hold.” Hank q
uickly opened his belt, pulled out a blue ball of explosives, and placed small wads on the cell door.

  God, did I need some chocolate.

  “Me want to go home!” Haki cried.

  “Me too.” I shrank back as lava blasted the fluctuating shield. If it fell, we’d be crispy critters. “Did you tell your mother where we are?”

  Haki hid in my hair and shivered. “She says Talree comes.”

  I glanced at the fountains of molten rocks flowing out of the crater. Not in time.

  “Daddy save us,” Thor stated proudly.

  “Of course he will, sweetie.”

  “Come here,” Hank commanded from the corner of the room.

  Rolling my eyes, I obediently waddled over to him. Yep, he definitely had the Warlord’s bossy gene.

  Covering my body with his, Hank detonated the explosives.

  Boom! The door blew off and crashed against the far wall with a loud bang.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Hank said, ushering me out into the hallway.

  The building groaned and creaked ominously. The temperature increased dramatically until it felt like we were being cooked alive.

  Hank shot a worried look at the orange glow radiating from our cell and increased his pace, practically dragging me down the corridor.

  “These research outposts usually have some sort of armored hovercraft for collecting samples,” I said, trying to ignore a sharp contraction. My baby wasn’t being born now. No way. No how. And not here.

  The stench of death grew stronger and stronger.

  “No like it here!” Haki cried.

  “I know, honey.”

  Thor asked anxiously, “Daddy come soon?”

  “Yes.” I glanced into a lab and grimaced. Dried blood covered the walls. A chewed-up hand, bloody boot, and shattered skull decorated the floor.

  Hank’s lips drew back in a feral snarl. “Those scientists never had a chance.”

  “No, but paybacks are a bitch.”

  “I like the way you think,” Hank said.

  I felt a tingling sensation, and a glittering blue light blossomed around us. “I guess the Tai-Kok don’t want us crispy fried.”

  One second we were in the research station’s hallway, and the next we were standing on an icy-cold transporter platform. I blinked in disbelief. The alien version of a Frankenstein monster stood at the command console.

  The funky-looking critter wore the tattered remains of a red battle suit. Could it be a cyborg? Or something else? Pitted, badly rusted metal covered half its skull. Two of the creature’s eyes had been replaced with telephoto lens that continually zoomed in and out. The right arm was metal with a clawed hand, and a stump made from some kind of wood replaced his lower left leg.

  “Mog,” Hank said.

  Duh. I gave myself a mental head-smack. “The Tai-Kok commander Jaylan fed to the sand sharks.”

  “The one and only.”

  “I’m kinda surprised the Tai-Kok took him back.”

  “They didn’t,” Hank answered, pushing me behind him.

  Haki chittered. “He silly.”

  Thor asked curiously, “Why he has claw?”

  “Shhhh. Be very quiet until your father comes.”

  “’Kay,” both kids said in unison.

  Mog started quacking like a rabid duck on meth.

  A mechanical voice translated his gobbledygook. “You are my prisoners. The Warlord will surrender to me, or I will eat you, piece by piece.”

  “Get in line,” I muttered, rubbing my aching back.

  Hank queried, “Which Warlord are you talking about? Zarek? Talree or Jaylan?”

  The Tai-Kok looked confused for a moment, then quacked, “Jaylan. He fed me to the sharks. I will have my vengeance.”

  I whispered, “I bet the boob forgot to tell anyone he has us.”

  With a snort of amusement, Hank asked, “Have you contacted Jaylan with your demands?”

  Mog’s eyes spun wildly. With a flustered squawk, he quickly tapped on the console. Nothing happened. Honking angrily, Mog punched the communication icon again, again, again, and yet again.

  Guess the rumors of him being a bit brain damaged were true. I peered around Hank’s back. “Do you need Jaylan’s communicator code?” Please say yes. Please say yes.

  His eyes zoomed in on me, and he quacked.

  A second later, the translator said, “Yes.”

  “89123021CZJK,” I supplied, smiling evilly as Mog typed the code in.

  “Gotcha, you dumb bastard,” Hank murmured.

  Yes, we did. The special code embedded in the signal would paint a big bull’s-eye on his ship.

  Jaylan’s image formed in midair. His back toward us, he studied a busy battle board.

  Mog honked, and the translator said, “Warlord.”

  Jaylan spun around and bared his fangs menacingly. “Mog, this time you will die.”

  “I have your mate.”

  Jaylan’s eyebrows rose incredulously. “Do you?”

  The cyborg touched the control panel, and a yellow light scanned us. “Surrender to me or they die.”

  Stepping out from behind Hank, I threw Jaylan a kiss. “Hey, sweetie, Mog just transported us away from our previous hosts.”

  Relief flared in Jaylan’s eyes, and he quickly tapped a communications icon. “Do your previous hosts know you’re missing?”

  “An eruption just took out the research center, so I imagine they’re freaking out about now.”

  A low, raise-the-hair-on-the-back-of-your-neck kind of growl sounded off-screen.

  I smiled. That was Talree’s someone-is-going-to-die-horribly growl.

  A thin stream of drool ran down Mog’s chin as he bared his two pitiful metal teeth in a snarl. “Warlord, you will come in an unarmed shuttle to the coordinates I just transmitted. You have eight of your hours to comply, or I will eat your mate.”

  Jaylan’s mouth tightened. “We agree to your terms.”

  Mog broke the transmission and honked triumphantly. “I will bathe in his blood.”

  Hank nodded in agreement. “You’re right. There will be a bloodbath.”

  A shimmering blue light suddenly engulfed us.

  Mog squawked in disbelief.

  An instant later, we were standing on another transporter platform. Swell, it was the asshole with the Mohawk.

  The Tai-Kok warrior let out a series of cackling honks.

  A mechanical voice said, “There is no escape, humans.”

  A sparkling blue energy field surrounded us. I waved at the monster. “Bye-bye.”

  Mohawk quacked in fury. “I will find you.”

  Hank and I appeared on the bridge of an unknown ship. A sigh of relief escaped me when I saw the female Askole sitting at the command console. Tihar must have sent his sister, Soulet, to rescue us.

  Her attention focused on the battle screens, she said, “Strap in, little mother. The Tai-Kok have their weapons system locked on.”

  “Shit.” I hurried over to weapons control, dropped into the seat, and fastened the harness over my bulging belly.

  Hank took the chair next to me and brought up the tracking screens. “Who is she?”

  “Soulet, the Askole High Commander’s daughter.”

  A fierce salvo rocked the ship.

  “They just launched a squadron of marauders,” Hank advised.

  The Tai-Kok’s two-man fighters were deadly, but they had picked the wrong person to mess with. “Cranky” didn’t even begin to describe me.

  Soulet’s tentacles squirmed wildly about her head. “Tihar said you have the Overlord’s skill at killing.”

  “I’m very, very good at killing monsters.” Bringing up my targeting screen, I wrapped my right hand around the firing control and started shooting.

  The view screens lit up like the Fourth of July.

  Hank whistled. “Nice shootin’.”

  “A little side effect of my merge with Zarek.”

  A marauder materialized on the af
t view screen, firing its laser cannons.

  Soulet rolled the starship over. G-forces slammed me back against the chair as the ship accelerated sharply and went into a nauseating series of twists, banks, and dives. Ugh. The pressure made my contractions worse.

  “Whee! Fun,” Haki cried.

  “Fun” wasn’t quite the word. Bend over and kiss your ass good-bye was more like it. I unleashed a barrage of laser fire, and the marauder vanished in a geyser of metal and crimson flames.

  Our ship bobbed wildly as we took hit after hit.

  Warning lights appeared on Hank’s console. He tapped an icon and warned, “Shields are overloading.”

  I noticed a decrepit freighter closing fast on the Tai-Kok’s battle cruiser. A little too fast. “Is that Mog’s ship?”

  Hank looked at his screens. “Oh, yeah, it’s him. His life readings are one of a kind.”

  To my utter astonishment, a missile launched from the freighter and scored a direct hit on the battle cruiser’s engines.

  The Tai-Kok ship disintegrated into a cloud of vaporized metal.

  “Holy shit! What were the odds of that happening?”

  Soulet let out a crackling laugh. “Mog had the codes to the battle cruiser’s computers and shields.”

  “I guess the Tai-Kok high command never thought Mog would use his knowledge against them,” Hank added.

  “My question is, did Mog know we were no longer on the battle cruiser before he blew it to kingdom come?”

  Hank laughed. “Probably not.”

  The remaining marauders turned their wrath on the freighter.

  “Mog better pull another rabbit out of his hat, or he’s a dead man,” I commented.

  Soulet frowned. “Rabbit?”

  “It’s like a petka,” I explained, wincing as another contraction hit.

  A very confused Soulet asked, “How would a petka help him, and what is it doing in a hat?”

  “It’s an old Earth saying,” Hank told her.

  “It makes no sense.”

  Rubbing my belly in an attempt to ease the pain, I snapped, “Never mind. It’s not important. Let’s just get the hell out of here before more Tai-Kok show up.”

  Hank eyed me warily. “Are you in labor?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Cross your legs, dammit. You can’t have that baby now!” Hank bellowed.

  If I’d had a gun, I would have shot him. “Cross my legs? Are you kidding me?”