Hothar's Folly (Coletti Warlords series Book 9) Read online

  “The rather large codpiece on the armor,” Voss replied.

  “Or she’s a clever woman with one hell of a disguise.” Prickles ran up my spine and I glanced out the window. A storm trooper stared back at me. I pointed at him. “Does the Supreme One look something like that?”

  Without any kind of acknowledge, Hothar and Voss teleported. Poof! They appeared on the sidewalk and pounced on the Supreme One. One minute they had him in custody and the next, the Supreme One was lobbing them across the street. Crash! They smashed through a nail salon’s plate glass window. The security alarm began to wail.

  Dang! The Supreme One had to be wearing strength enhancing armor to be able to toss around three hundred-pound Coletti warriors that easily.

  The Supreme One ripped the door to Hilberto’s off its hinges and flung it across the street. It sailed through the nail salon’s broken window.

  I winced as pain ripped through Hothar’s shoulder. The Inferior One was gonna pay for that.

  In a voice straight out of a horror movie, the Supreme One rasped, “You have interfered with my plans for the last time. I’m going to take great pleasure in killing you.” He stomped toward me.

  I rolled my eyes. “Was that supposed to be scary? Cause it’s not. And I’m giving you an F for originality.”

  “You mock me?”

  “Me? Nah. I just want to know where you got that spiffy armor? Halloween is coming up and my little cousin loves that outer space shoot ’em movie. He’s been pestering us like forever for a storm trooper costume. So where did you get it? Costumes R Us or Shindig City?”

  The Supreme Idiot roared in fury and charged.

  “Was it something I said?” I dropped my mental shields and punched out with my telekinesis. The shockwave of energy hurled the Supreme One through the wall and out into the street; right in front of a city bus. Thud! Thump. Thump.

  The bus skidded to a stop. A moment later, the horrified bus driver bailed out and peered under the front chassis. Hothar and Voss joined him.

  Munching on the last taco, I strolled over to the bus. “Is he dead?”

  “He is,” Hothar said.

  “Piss poor armor.”

  Hothar hugged me tightly. “Are you injured?”

  The taco crumbled, raining meat, cheese and lettuce down the front of Hothar’s battle suit and my dress. “Uh, nope.” I swiped at the mess. “He never laid a finger on me. How’s your shoulder?”

  “A few minor injuries.” He suddenly released me.

  Zarek and a shitload of warriors suddenly teleported in. They swarmed around the bus.

  Voss motioned to Hothar.

  “Duty calls.” He limped over to them.

  Minor injuries huh? I brushed a piece of cheese off my chin and glanced down at my dress. It was decorated with salsa, lettuce and bits of shredded beef. Ugh.

  A frantic Hispanic man examined the damage done to the taco shop and hurried over to me. “Who pay? Who pay?”

  “He pays.” I pointed at Zarek. “El Jefe. Mucho dinero.”

  “Gracias.” The Hispanic guy took one look at Zarek and gulped.

  I sighed. The Overlord was wearing his scary predator’s face. “Un momento.” I tapped politely at Zarek’s mind. “Sir.”

  “Tell him to contact Central Command in the morning. They will take care of the damages,” Zarek said.

  “Yes, sir.” I smiled at the worried owner. “Call Central Command in the morning and they’ll arrange for a contractor to come out. Okay?”

  “Si. Si.” He rushed back inside.

  God was I tired. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep for the next week, but that wasn’t gonna happen. They were going to be at it for hours. I laid down on the bus stop bench and closed my eyes. This had to be the longest day ever.

  Sometime later I felt strong arms lifting me. I moaned in protest.

  Hothar gently stroked my mind. “Go back to sleep.” I did.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Auntie Casey?” A small hand patted my face. “Auntie Casey?”

  I peeled my eyelids open. Two amber eyes stared back at me.

  “Auntie Casey?”

  I blinked. There was a three-year-old toddler sitting on my chest. He had silver chains woven into his black warrior braids and was wearing an adorable little battle suit, complete with a weapon’s belt and miniature sword. Kaylee couldn’t send us pictures of her son because of the numerous death threats from Lilkee’s Legionnaires. Very few people even knew she had been pregnant, but this kid was the spitting image of Talree. “I am. You must be Thor.”

  “Me mighty warrior,” Thor said proudly. He pulled his sword and waved it around.

  “What an awesome sword.”

  He held it out for me to admire. “Same as dada.”

  “Wow. It’s even got the clan symbol engraved on it. Very nice.”

  “Momma says me talk good.”

  “You do.”

  A baby Tabor skittered across the bed and perched on my nose. “Me Haki.”

  My eyes crossed as I stared up at his furry face. “Hothar! “Where are you?” I yelled on our private link and carefully moved Haki off my face.

  “Getting you a breakfast burrito,” he replied. “Why?”

  I sent him the image of Thor and Haki. “I have guests.”

  “I’ll get more burritos. Kaylee won’t be far behind.”

  Haki climbed up on my forehead and played with my hair. “Why smell funny?”

  “I had a run in with a big skunk.”

  Thor leaned down and sniffed me. “What skunk?”

  My cousin teleported into my room. “You little scamps. I told you Auntie Casey needed to sleep a bit longer.” She plucked the kids off me. “I’m so sorry.”

  “No biggie. We’re getting to know each other. I’m not sure how Thor managed to climb up on the bed.” I sat up and fingered combed my hair.

  “Thor can teleport.”

  I felt my eyes bug. That was so not good. “Seriously? I didn’t think Coletti children could teleport until they were six or seven?”

  “He’s Talree’s son. He was walking by six months and started teleporting at sixteen months.”

  “Wow. How do you keep up with him?”

  “With great difficulty. Talree had to put a tracker on him.”

  Holy crap. “How far can he teleport?”

  “Up to a mile.” Kaylee tickled Thor’s belly. “Isn’t that right squirt?”

  Thor giggled. “Me like dada.”

  Oh, dear God. We were so screwed. I linked with Hothar, “Did you know Thor can teleport?”

  “That is not possible.”

  “Well, Kaylee says it is. How are we supposed to care for a kid that can teleport?”

  “I have no idea. We will discuss the situation with Talree and Kaylee.” I noticed Kaylee watching me intently. “Sorry, I was updating Hothar. He’s getting us breakfast burritos.”

  “From Hilberto’s?”

  “Uh, I don’t think so, it kinda got trashed last night.”

  Kaylee laughed. “I heard you tossed the Supreme One in front of a bus.”

  “Not so supreme. The bus smooshed him.”

  “Talree said his body armor was faulty,” Kaylee remarked.

  “Which explains why they were so eager to get their hands on the new Askole armor. Did they find out who the Supreme One was?”

  Kaylee propped Thor on her left hip with Haki dangling from his warrior braids. “They did. Lieutenant Colonel Jeffries. He was assigned to Fort Carson in Colorado. Voss talked with General Douglas the base commander. She was shocked to learn he was involved with Earth First and was very eager to help with the investigation.”

  “I’ll bet. The stink of having a traitor on your base isn’t good for the career.” I scowled. “How are Earth First and the Rodan recruiting them? Are they all just a bunch of crazy bigots or have the monsters found a new kind of mind control?”

  “Shrek is doing an autopsy on Mary Beth and the Lieute
nant Colonel. We should know soon.”

  “Mary Beth died during her interrogation?” Color me surprised.

  “About ten minutes into her questioning, she started foaming at the mouth and stopped breathing. Shrek was unable to resuscitate her. He ran some tests and found she had swallowed a cyanide pill. Talree said she planned on killing herself and Adan.”

  “What a dumb ass. Katanic shapeshifters’ stomachs can digest just about anything in the known universe. Cyanide included.”

  “Well, you know Mary Beth, even though she claimed she was a so-called expert on everything alien, she didn’t know squat.” Kaylee slid Thor’s sword back into the scabbard. “I can’t believe we fell for her act. I mean, she was a great administrative assistant and could organize the hell out of Uncle Saul’s chaotic office and travel schedule, but in other things, she sucked. Like driving. That woman was a menace and don’t get me started on her constant flossing.”

  “I hear ya. I get pissed every time I think about all the holidays she spent with us. Flitting around in her Mrs. Santa Claus outfit, making sure we were properly decorating the tree and had set the table correctly.”

  “And she always had that stupid Debbie Sunshine smile on her face. I kept expecting her to burst into song. Ugh. Mary Beth was lucky she didn’t end up with a butter knife buried in her back,” Kaylee grumbled.

  “Quinn came close to ending her that one Thanksgiving when she poured out his homemade beer, but silly me, I talked him out of it,” I added.

  Haki crawled up Kaylee’s arm and perched on her shoulder. “Me hungry. Want mealie bugs.”

  “In a minute, sweetie.” She moved him back to Thor’s head. “I had Hothar fetch some clothes for you. I tossed what was left of your Annie Oakley costume in the trash. Once you’re dressed come to the kitchen and we’ll go over the care and feeding of my little warriors.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Kaylee hugged Thor to her chest and teleported.

  I scrambled out of bed, took a fast shower and plaited my hair into a long braid. A quick inventory of the closet revealed my favorite black tee-shirt with Troublemaker inscribed on the front in bright red print and a pair of well-worn jeans.

  “The food’s here,” Kaylee advised.

  “Be right there.” I dressed and pulled on my boots and hurried to the kitchen. I froze in the doorway. Oh whoopee! Zarek, Talree and Voss were joining us for breakfast. “Good morning.” I slid into the chair beside Hothar. “Where’s Zoey?”

  “She’s interviewing Adan for her news vid,” Voss answered.

  “Oh.” I noticed the twitch in his left eye. Voss wasn’t happy with Zoey’s career choice. Silly man felt being a reporter was dangerous. Hello? Just being a Jones was hazardous to your health. “Who’s watching the kids?”

  “Bey. He’s a great babysitter. If Thor gets out of hand, he webs him to a wall,” Kaylee said.

  “Any chance of Bey giving us a hand?”

  Kaylee shook her head. “Tae is ready to drop her babies and needs at least eight Rodan for the children to feed on. Datlow and Bey will be out hunting the monsters that escaped from Old Tucson.”

  Rats.

  My honey bunny handed me a burrito. “Chorizo with extra jalapenos.”

  “Thank you.” I opened the wrapper, took a big bite and groaned in pleasure. God that hit the spot. I practically inhaled the rest of the burrito. When I came up for air, I realized everyone was watching me in disbelief. “What? I’m hungry. I expended a lot of energy yesterday.”

  “She did.” Hothar gave me another burrito.

  “Have I told you how much I love you?”

  “Not today,” Hothar answered and leaned in to give me a kiss.

  Zarek cleared his throat.

  The smooch turned into a peck on the cheek. “Iced tea or coffee?”

  “Iced tea, please.”

  He poured me a glass.

  Kaylee laughed. “You two are adorable.”

  “Adorable?” Voss looked at her like she was nuts. “They are worse than Petkas in heat.”

  Time to change the subject to anything but us. “Any news on Uncle Saul and his mate hunt?”

  “He is in the Chiricahua Mountains,” Zarek replied.

  Dang. That was a serious tactical error on Annie’s part. After our time hunting the Tai-Kok with Mangas and his Apache warriors, my uncle knew the mountains like the back of his hand. “Is he anywhere near Cave Creek Canyon lake?”

  “The General is two clicks from the lake,” Zarek answered.

  Hothar smiled. “Is that where Annie is hiding?”

  “Could be. There are a lot of caves in the area.”

  Kaylee gave Talree the evil eye. “Uncle Saul found his mate and you neglected to tell me?”

  “I was securing the water craft you asked for,” Talree said.

  “You got us the jet skis?”

  “I did.”

  Kaylee squealed in delight and planted a hot one on Talree’s mouth. “This is going to be the best vacation ever.”

  Before the Tai-Kok invaded Earth, my family had spent our summers zooming around Lake Pleasant on jet skis. Those were the good old days. “When do you leave for the South Pacific?”

  “In an hour,” Kaylee said.

  Yikes. “Will Thor try to find you and how do we keep him from teleporting?”

  “We’ve told him where we’re going and when we will be back. Plus, Thor can call us at any time on his new warrior’s bracelet.” Kaylee handed me a thick file folder. “Here’s his itinerary and I also downloaded it to Hothar’s bracelet.”

  “Itinerary?” A three-year-old needed an itinerary?

  “It lists everything you need to know.

  There had to be a hundred pages in the folder. “Like how to keep the boys happy?”

  “Yes, and I’ll admit I did resort to some bribery. Thor and Haki love dinosaurs. To keep them on their best behavior I promised you would take them to the Land of the Dinosaurs exhibit at the Museum of Natural History on day six. If and that’s if they’ve been good.”

  “That’s one hell of a bribe. The exhibit is awesome.” I patted Hothar’s arm. “You’ll love it. The dinosaurs are very life-like. They move, roar and they even have a guy in a raptor’s suit that roams around the museum scaring the crap out of people.”

  “Some scientists think the Rodan are the descendants of the dinosaurs.”

  “Seriously?”

  Hothar nodded.

  “Tick-tock. Time is running out,” Kaylee interjected.

  “Sorry, go ahead.”

  “You’ll also find tickets for the zoo and the Sonora Desert Museum. Thor wants to meet an Apache warrior. I was going to have you take them to Old Tucson, but since it got blown to bits, that’s out. I went with my fall back plan and had Uncle Saul contact Mangas. He has agreed to take all of you on a trail ride in full warpaint,” Kaylee advised.

  I bet that cost Uncle Saul a crate of thermite grenades. “It’ll be great to see Mangas again, but he’s pretty damn scary in his warrior getup. Are you sure he won’t frighten Thor?”

  “Not a chance.” Kaylee continued on, “The second page is the food Thor will eat. There are plenty of mealie bugs for Haki. Talree has downloaded Thor’s tracker system onto Hothar’s bracelet. It can find him anywhere in the galaxy.”

  “Are you expecting a kidnapping attempt?” Hothar asked with a note of dread in his voice.

  “After Thor teleported aboard my warbird for the third time, we put a tracker on him,” Talree interjected.

  “Kind of slippery, huh?”

  Kaylee sighed. “Bebo, the Gorum King, brought his son Bedan for a visit. The two of them teleported to the space station to watch the ships come in.”

  I stared at her in horror. “Who did the teleporting? Thor or Bedan?”

  “Bedan.”

  “And that didn’t freak Thor out?”

  “No. He liked it. A lot,” Kaylee replied grimly.

  Holy crap. Maybe I sho
uld handcuff the kid to me. “Anything else I should know about? Like is he potty trained? His favorite toy? How do we keep him from teleporting?”

  “It’s all in my notes.”

  “Uh huh.” My mind was spinning chaotically. “I can handle an entire squad of monsters without flinching but caring for your son scares the bejesus out of me.”

  Kaylee laughed and added, “Thor’s fully potty trained. His favorite toy is a stuffed blue triceratops. He won’t go to sleep without it. Talree had a long talk with him, but if he teleports, take away his sword and weapons belt.”

  “Ok.”

  “Voss and my father will be watching. Do not disappoint them,” Talree warned.

  Dang! “Wouldn’t think of it.”

  Hothar met his cold-eyed gaze with one of his own. “I will guard your son as if he were my own.”

  “Good.” Talree held his hand out to Kaylee. “Ready?”

  She took it. “I am.” They vanished.

  “Mangas is waiting for you at the Spanish Trailhead. Do not keep him waiting,” Zarek advised.

  “Yes, sir.”

  Thor burst into the room with Bey and Haki right behind him. “Horsie! Ride horsie!” He held his arms up. “We go now?”

  “We go now.” Hothar picked him up.

  Haki skittered up my body and perched on my head. “Go?”

  “Does he have to sit there?”

  “All Tabor children like riding in our hair,” Hothar responded.

  “Is there any way to break them of this habit?”

  “Not that we have found.”

  “Yippee-ki-yay! I’m a horse.” I linked with Hothar and fixed the location in my mind. He wrapped his left arm around me and teleported.

  Chapter Sixteen

  There was a fleeting instant of inky blackness and poof! We were standing on the Spanish Trailhead. Toadstool-shaped rocks, and sculptured buttes marched like sentries along the cactus studded valley.

  Kee-eeee-arr. Kee-eeee-arr. Kee-eeee-arr. The wind plucked at my hair as I watched a hawk circle overhead.

  “Birdie,” Thor gurgled.

  “It’s a red-tailed hawk.”

  “Is that Mangas?” Hothar pointed to the top of a nearby mesa.