Hothar's Folly (Coletti Warlords series Book 9) Read online

  “No! That won’t be necessary.”

  Hothar rubbed my back soothingly. “Adan can keep the general alive for up to three days.”

  “Swell.” I swallowed hard as more moving body parts poked out from Adan’s thick mass. How many people had he eaten, and did I even want to know? A part of me cringed at Dovers’s fate, but the warrior in me thought it was a fitting punishment. “Why didn’t you go after Mary Beth?”

  “Her quantum logic gate disrupted my ability to teleport for a short period.”

  “That’s not good.”

  “It is not,” Hothar agreed, then looked at Adan. “What do you want?”

  “I need your mate’s help.”

  Hothar eyed Adan suspiciously. “To do what?”

  “I was able to trace Mary Beth’s logic gate transmissions to a place called Old Tucson. I have never been to an old west theme park before and need Casey to guide me through what is real and what is a reenactment. It will keep me from unnecessarily eating people.”

  “Yeah, we wouldn’t want you to eat some poor actor by mistake, now would we?”

  “No, it upsets Detja.”

  I bet it did. “It’s been years since Earth First used Old Tucson as their base. Uncle Saul has it regularly patrolled and sends me in undercover as Annie Oakley, the famous sharpshooter, every six months to make sure the creeps haven’t established a foothold again. Are you one hundred percent sure that’s where Mary Beth went?”

  An enormous mouth edged with hundreds of serrated teeth appeared in the mass. “You doubt my ability to track power sources?”

  “No!” I held up my hands. “Not at all, but if I was Mary Beth, I’d dump the belt and run.”

  “The belt was disabled, but I know from interrogating Governor-General Dovers she has contacts at Old Tucson.”

  “Uncle Saul has personally scanned all the workers there. I find it hard to believe that he missed a traitor,” I replied.

  Adan’s mouth grew bigger. “Are you calling me a liar?”

  “She is not. Casey is simply not aware of your capabilities,” Hothar said quickly.

  “What he says.” I grabbed a sword off the wall and about dropped it. Dang it was heavy. “But if you try to eat me, I will gut you like a fish.”

  Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore!

  “Why is he making a noise like a rabid hyena?”

  “He is laughing,” Hothar said, grinning.

  “Laughing?”

  Hothar nodded. “Yes. At the idea you could actually hurt him.”

  Crap. I knew Katanic shapeshifters were notoriously hard to kill, but it was a slap in the face to be considered harmless as a kitten. On the other hand, it was to my advantage to let him think that. All I needed him to do was take me to the traitorous bitch and I’d do the rest. I lowered the sword. “You got yourself a guide.”

  Alarm filled Hothar’s eyes. “Wait! Does Zarek know you are on Earth and do you have his permission to hunt Earth First soldiers?”

  “He does, and I do. He had me assume the form of the Rodan commander Bay Kal after he was killed in combat. I was able to infiltrate the Rodan command center and retrieve their battle strategies for destroying the Alliance. This planet, the Legionnaires and Earth First are key to their plans.”

  I ran a hand over my tangled curls. “How does that moron Waewae fit into their plot?”

  “The Rodan intend on replacing Zarek with Waewae. He has agreed to give them all of the hybrids.”

  “The fool believes his mother’s lies,” Hothar snarled.

  “Are you a screamer?” Adan asked suddenly.

  “What?” The word came out as a squeak.

  Hothar shoved me behind him. “You are not taking my mate anywhere without me.”

  “As you wish.” Ropy tentacles shot from Adan’s gloppy hide and wrapped around us.”

  I yelped as he pulled us close. “What’s he doing?”

  “Adan is going to teleport us to Old Tucson,” Hothar said unhappily.

  “No! Wait! Zoey said teleporting with tentacled aliens is a really bad idea.” I tugged frantically at the sticky appendage. “Why can’t we just fly there?”

  “This is much faster,” Adan answered. An incandescent orange light formed around us. The light spun faster and faster and faster until it became a vortex.

  Slurppp! We were sucked inside. It was like going from zero to Mach 12 in ten seconds flat. The horrific, twisting funnel of energy rocketed us across a weird black void. “Holy Mother of God!” I buried my face in Hothar’s back and fought back a shriek. Zoey had warned me to never teleport with a Gorum because it was like falling down the eye of a tornado at warp speed. This was ten times worse.

  “Relax, the Executioners no longer have a death warrant for Adan,” Hothar said.

  “And that’s a good thing?”

  “It is. The death authorization gave them the right to kill any creatures caught with me. If it was still valid and the Executioners managed to capture me, they would have eaten you and Hothar.” Adan flashed me the image of dark, wraithlike creatures with dozens of tentacles.

  “Color me happy.”

  The violently rotating walls began to collapse. After what seemed to be an eternity, the vortex spat us out in the rear parking lot of Old Tucson. Slashes of lightning danced and pulsed over the asphalt.

  Adan released us.

  I shuddered and shook and would have done a face-plant on the blacktop if Hothar hadn’t clamped me to his side.

  “Breathe, Casey.”

  “Breathe? I can’t feel my face! Oh ick! I’m covered in slimy goop.”

  Hothar gently wiped the crap off my face. “Riding the vortex can be difficult.”

  “Ya think?”

  Adan transformed into a cowboy, complete with ten-gallon hat, western-style shirt with fringe on the sleeves, chaps, and six shooters strapped on his hips. No moving body parts showed on his muscular human frame.

  What the hell had happened to Governor-General Dovers when Adan altered his form? Was he still inside him or had he been consumed?

  Hothar scanned Adan with his bracelet. “Are you Wild Bill Hickok or Wyatt Earp?”

  “Wyatt Earp, the most dangerous lawman in the west.” Adan stroked his mustache.

  Huh? I had to admit he was a dead ringer for Earp. “The Spanish spurs on your boots are a nice touch.”

  “I found pictures of Wyatt Earp and his attire on your internet.” The expression on Adan’s new face reminded me of a kid playing dress up.

  Slime dripped off Hothar’s face and splattered on my nose. “Ugh. We need to get cleaned up and changed into something more appropriate for undercover work.”

  “An excellent idea. I will be Wild Bill Hickok.” There was a touch of glee in Hothar’s voice.

  “Works for me. Yippee-ki-yay!

  Hothar queried, “Yippee-ki-yay?”

  “It’s a cowboy thing,” I replied.

  “Yippee-ki-yay,” Adan hooted repeatedly and started dancing around the parking lot. It was a weird combination of the Texas Two-Step, the Traveling Cha-Cha and with a touch of hip-hop thrown in. Had Aunt Tess been giving him dance lessons?

  Adan did a couple of roundhouse kicks and broke into an Irish jig.

  Oh, God, she had.

  “Yippee-ki-yay. Yippee-ki-yay.”

  I had created a monster.

  “Yippee-ki-yay.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “If you say yippee-ki-yay one more time, I’m going to hurt you,” I snapped as I typed in the code to the employee’s entrance.

  A tentacle grew out of Wyatt Earp’s ear. The nasty thing stroked my face. “Go ahead. Try.”

  Hothar groaned.

  “Okay. I’m always up for a challenge.” I dropped my shields, spun around and hit him with my telekinetic shock wave.

  Adan flew across the parking lot and crashed into an old Ford truck; caving the side in. Burning yellow eyes surveyed me for a long moment. Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore
!

  “I take it, I’m not on the dinner menu?”

  “You are not,” Hothar said, his relief obvious.

  Wyatt strolled over to us. “Nicely done, little human. You must carry the Berserker gene.”

  “Nope, it’s called PMS, but the results are the same.”

  A hint of alarm in his voice, Hothar asked, “How do I deal with this PMS?”

  “Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.” I stepped inside the building. The backstage area included a small breakroom, lockers, showers and changing rooms. “We have thirty buildings to search and I’m sure Mary Beth will try to blend in with the tourists or workers.”

  “She cannot hide from me, I have tasted her flesh,” Adan announced.

  “Say what?”

  Hothar seemed equally taken aback. “You ate part of her?”

  “Only an ear before the female activated the logic gate, but the sensory cells on my tongue are capable of sensing her up to two hundred feet away.”

  “Imagine that, our own alien bloodhound.”

  “Yippee-ki-yay. Yippee-ki-yay.”

  I glared at Adan. “Enough already.”

  “Where is my costume? Hothar hurriedly inserted.

  “Wild Bill Hickok can’t walk around covered in slime. It spoils the image.” I pointed at the door with a cowboy riding a bucking bronco on it. “That’s the men’s shower.”

  Hothar’s black brows knitted together. “I will not leave you alone until all the Earth First soldiers have been eliminated.”

  “I haven’t sensed any threats, have you?”

  “That does not mean they are not here,” Hothar disputed.

  Adan interjected, “I will watch over Casey while she showers.”

  “No!” Hothar bellowed.

  “Thanks for the offer, but that won’t be necessary,” I stated firmly. “If there is a problem, you can be at my side within ten seconds.” I opened my locker and took out the Annie Oakley outfit I always kept here. “The door on the right is the wardrobe room. While Hothar cleans up, you can look for a Wild Bill Hickok costume in his size. You’ll find the gunslinger gear on the back wall.”

  Adan bowed. “As my lady commands.” He danced off.

  I was going to have a long talk with Aunt Tess.

  “I will not leave you unguarded,” Hothar insisted.

  “And I don’t want to end up cleaning rat poop out of tunnels. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself.” I shooed Hothar. “Now go.”

  “Yes, my lady.” He stomped off.

  I quickly showered off the slime, changed and braided my wet hair into pigtails. My outfit included a short buckskin dress, boots and a brown cowgirl hat. I strapped on my six-shooters and glanced in the mirror. God, I looked like death warmed over.

  “None of the costumes will fit Hothar. He is too big,” Adan advised mentally.

  “I’ll be right there.” I hurried into the wardrobe room and my jaw dropped. Hothar was buck-ass naked. His torso was sculptured perfection. Thick muscles corded his arms and massive thighs. My gaze froze on the slit in his abdomen. The vids Kaylee sent me were very accurate. No balls or pubic hair. But dang it, no sign of his penis either.

  Desire blossomed in Hothar’s eyes and out slid his snakelike penis. A frill of inch long, copper-colored tentacles undulated around the head. “Like what you see?”

  Heat coiled in my belly. “Hoo boy. You got my attention and then some.”

  “And this?” Hothar’s voice was a low, husky growl.

  It was like the tentacles were stroking my clit. I sucked in a shuddering breath. The sensation was unbelievably hot. An aching need roared to life. “Oh, God.”

  “Like that, do you?” Hothar purred in satisfaction.

  Psychic sex rocked. “Yes. All I want is you. Now and forever.”

  “Forever,” Hothar echoed. Dozens of phantom hands suddenly caressed every inch of my body, sending quivers of heat streaking through me. A mouth closed over each breast and suckled them until I thought my senses would implode. The tentacles thrust deep inside me and vibrated wildly. My eyes rolled back in my head. God almighty. Now I knew why all my cousins walked around with big smiles on their faces. Another pulse, and a vortex of pleasure exploded inside me. Whooee! I collapsed against the wall and sucked in a shuddering breath.

  “What are you doing?” Zarek’s furious voice reverberated around my skull.

  Bliss turned into horror. “Ah. Talking.”

  “I take full responsibility, my lord,” Hothar interjected.

  Adan added, “Hothar removed his clothing to shower and find a suitable disguise. We do not wish to frighten the humans during our hunt for Mary Beth Dunson.”

  “General Jones and his warriors will arrive shortly to assist in the search. If I catch the two of you “talking” again, poop scooping will be the least of your worries. Do you understand me Hothar?”

  “Yes, my lord.”

  “Put your battle suit back on and find a costume that will cover it,” Zarek instructed.

  “Yes, my lord.” Hothar scrambled into his suit and started strapping on his weapons.

  Huh? Did all warriors go commando? I’d have to ask Kaylee or Zoey.

  Zarek’s exasperated sigh echoed in my head. “Your hormones are overwhelming your good sense.”

  What could I say? He was right. For some odd reason my PMS was making me incredibly horny. “Look on the bright side. In another ten days, I’ll be back to normal. Well, until the curse hits again next month.”

  “I will see if Shrek has a solution,” Zarek stated.

  “Okey-dokey.”

  Zarek turned his irritation on Adan. “In the future Adan, you will notify me of your plans. Immediately.”

  “I do not answer to you,” Adan retorted.

  “Perhaps you would like to speak with Detja?” The menacing note in Zarek’s voice gave me the willies.

  “That is not necessary. I will comply with your wishes,” Adan said quickly.

  “Good.”

  I sagged in relief when the Overlord vanished from our minds. “Zarek’s right. It’s like we’re in heat. The only thing on my mind is sex. Lots and lots of sex.”

  “Our future will be filled with dung duty,” Hothar lamented.

  Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! “Humanoids are very entertaining.”

  “I’m glad you find us so amusing,” I snapped.

  The image of two rabbitlike creatures humping flashed across my mind. “Your mating drive is much like the Petkas.”

  “Gee, thanks.” I punched Hothar in the arm. “You promised no more sex in public.”

  “No, I promised not to feed in public,” Hothar contradicted.

  I threw up my hands in disgust. “I’m mated to an exhibitionist.”

  “You enflame my senses. You are my heart, my soul, my life. You call to me like no other. I need your touch to live.”

  “Ahhh. I love you too Hot Lips.” I gave him a big smooch with no tongue. “Now let’s get you a disguise before that murdering bitch gets away and Zarek locks us up in the tunnels for the next hundred years.”

  “Why do you insist on calling me Hot Lips?”

  “Because your lips are smoking hot like the rest of you.” I handed him a monk’s robe. “Try this on.”

  A pleased smile on his face, Hothar pulled the robe on.

  It hit him mid-thigh. Crap. Then I remember the guy who played Black Bart. He was the size of a small mountain and the script called for him to dress up as a nun to rob the bank. The shootout between the nun and the marshal had been a big hit with the tourists. I found the habit and gave it to Hothar. “This should work.”

  It fit. I smothered a laugh at the disgruntled expression on Hothar’s face.

  Eeyore! Eeyore! Eeyore! “He makes a very large and ugly female.”

  I gave Adan the evil eye. “You’re not helping.”

  “He is correct. This is not a fitting disguise for a warrior,” Hothar growled.

  “Suck it up, big
guy. It’s all we’ve got. Just remember to keep your head down and don’t fang anyone.” I turned to Adan. “Do your bloodhound thing.”

  “As you command.” A long black tongue protruded from Adan’s human mouth and flicked this way and that. “She is seventy feet to the west.” Moving inhumanly fast, he rushed out of the building.

  “Hey! Wait for us.” We ran after him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Adan bolted through the swinging doors of the Painted Lady Saloon.

  Hothar pulled me to a stop. “Stay behind me. You are not wearing any armor.” He pushed through the doors.

  “I love you too.” I stepped inside and carefully surveyed the interior of the saloon. It was an authentic old west bar right down to the cattle brands seared into the oak bar, an assortment of old wanted poster on the aged brick walls, the antique wrought-iron chandelier and sawdust covered floors.

  Most of the patrons were male with a few women scattered about the tables. Scantily clad waitresses served drinks to the thirsty customers.

  The bartender today was none other than my friend Annie Russell; an athletic blonde in her forties who could go toe-to-toe with the Tai-Kok and live to tell about it. Her blue silk corset displayed her ample breasts perfectly and the black ruffled skirt showcased her toned legs. She was a jack-of-all-trades, a crack shot and an expert at dealing with drunken sightseers.

  Annie managed the bar and gift shop. In her spare time, she played the outlaw Belle Starr in the daily shoot ’em up shows. Annie had psychic talents. What kind I wasn’t quite sure. Her ability at camouflaging them was impressive. Neither my uncle nor the Battle Commander had picked on the fact she was one of us and I wasn’t about to rat her out.

  “There is something unusual about that bartender,” Hothar commented with a frown.

  Dang! “Really? Hadn’t noticed.” I quickly directed his attention to an elderly woman taking a selfie with Adan. “You’d better go get Adan before he decides to eat that old lady.”

  With a frustrated sigh, Hothar hurried over to them.

  I laughed when the old gal talked Hothar into a selfie too. Weaving my way through the tables, I bellied up to the bar. “Love the outfit Annie. Someone call off?”